Prior to this, the blogs have basically diary entries recording the events that have been going on through this journey. Today’s blog is a little different, in that it is about the thoughts behind it.
Like most of the human condition (at least how I understand it), this has been about belonging. It’s not been about belonging to a group or about acceptance into a particular lifestyle, but about an alignment of an inner feeling with an outer reality: belonging to the everyday reality of my life. It’s taken a long time and a lot of experiences. I guess this a kind of mid-life crisis, but if you knew my life thus far, you’d know it’s never been about settling and this is more like the reverse of most mid-life crises.
As I was growing up, the message was loud and clear that “You can be anything you want to be”. Many people discard this message. I was foolhardy enough to believe it. It led to travel in a few different countries doing many jobs and a few mini-careers trying to see what fitted me. The education illusion which has dominated our generation, was a big player in this. In fact, it sucked up several thousand dollars and quite a few years. Ironically (?), it was really the relationships and experiences along the way that were worthwhile more than the classes.
Taylor Pearson covers this much better than I ever could in his book “The End of Jobs” (link to the book’s official page). Definitely worth a read. It’s about the idea that although education once served to improve career prospects and income, 1) the market has become saturated with knowledge-based workers; and 2) the marketplace has expanded to include a global pool of workers. When you also consider that knowledge is so much more available in the internet age, there is less and less value in formal credentials. More and more value in ACTUAL skills and the ability to be independent, learn, trial and problem solve.
Now I find myself at on a slightly different track. It’s been a conscious decision to try to follow feelings. The new catch phrase seems to be “Living from the Heart” and several authors are all over it. It’s brought a lot more uncertainty into life and it can be scary at times. So far though, it’s been the key to noticing more opportunities and allowing myself to take them. In fact, with less of a financial burden due to rent, the biggest obstacles have been mental ones.
Long-held beliefs about my abilities, my rights, poverty and contributing to society have been tough things to confront. Self-limiting beliefs keep coming up and when I’ve had the courage to face them, so far I’ve proven them wrong every time. We operate under such out-dated beliefs about ourselves and our worth, which once may have had a protective purpose to help us succeed. As we grow and experience life, there often comes a point where they are no longer true or helpful. For me, it is often about what I can do or what I deserve. But in order to get what you want in life, it seems you must first be audacious enough to expect those things that you want. Then you must act in a way that allows you to get them.
Working this way, it’s been surprising how quickly I’ve managed to find a version of perfect. It is likely that it won’t be the final version of ‘perfect’. Part of the mind-shift required to head toward a more sustainable life is accepting the changing nature of things. Nothing lasts forever and most if not all of the pain in our lives is caused when we try to force this unnatural requirement. Money comes and goes. Relationships start and finish. People are born and die. Everything in life goes through cycles and they are often unpredictable or veiled in complexity. But if we work from that place of things that ‘feel right’ we can engineer the path that we take through the changing landscape of our experience.
In his book “A New Earth” (link to the book’s official page), Eckhart Tolle talks about his interpretation of “The Lord’s Prayer”. Specifically, he talks about the line “Give us this day our daily bread”. He emphasises THIS DAY and DAILY as a reference to the fact that things aren’t necessarily meant for storing and having on hand at our whims. Instead he discusses the idea that we can live on the basis of finding the things we need NOW in the world we are living in now. It is in stark contrast to the common way of living in our society which is about projecting forward to the future (whether it be hours, days, weeks or years), which may not even come to pass. Worse still, living stuck in a past that has been and is gone forever.
To me, this whole journey into a sustainable life is about embracing that concept of change and using it to find ways to live moments more consciously and make my choices more purposeful. For now, that means concentrating on renovating my caravan. But the caravan is only a tool to allow me to engineer a lifestyle. The end goal is to be living as I see fit. That is: as nature seems to intend.